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Golf’s Wonders (and WTF’s) Never Cease

Golf MysteriesNothing baffles me more than golf. Politics? The Higgs boson? The Kardashians’ popularity?

Much easier to explain than the loose impediment rule, or why perfectly sane people will swing a metal rod at a stupid ball when deadly lightning bolts are crackling all about.

Yep, this game is full of head scratchers and WTF’s. For example, I wonder why…[list style=”idea”]

  • Golfers obsess over their driving distance when everyone knows the short game is far more important. I guess putting is for pansies.
  • Guys who post internet course reviews focus so intently on how they’re treated by the staff, when your interactions with them make up no more than 20 percent of the total experience.
  • Some folks will give a 4-star course a 1-star review because some clubhouse flunky game them a funny look. Get over it already.
  • It’s so difficult to grasp the concept that you must hit down to get the ball up. Didn’t you people learn anything in physics class? I didn’t, and I still get this one.
  • More people don’t realize that if you can’t generate at least 90 mph of clubhead speed, a $450 driver is truly just for show.
  • The PGA Tour doesn’t have the guts to take a stand over Augusta National’s refusal to admit female members, when that anachronistic policy is a clear violation of the tour’s own standards. Actually, I don’t wonder about this one at all. Profit continues its undefeated run vs. principle.
  • Beverage carts are rarely stocked with decent beers, especially now that 500-plus craft brews are available in cans. Get with the times, course operators – you’ll make your golfers happy and boost profit margins.
  • I can play lights-out for five or six holes, then suddenly start swinging the club like it’s a hockey stick.
  • A certain segment of golf fans pee and moan over the amount of coverage devoted to Tiger Woods. (Funny how they seem to read, and comment on, everything that’s written about him, though.) Face it, folks – to most of the world, he is professional golf.
  • Many of the same fans take joy in Tiger’s failures. I’m not talking about people who detest Woods for his off-course transgressions, either – that part I get — but the ones who have hated him from the start.
  • The average golfer is no better now than he’s ever been.
  • Many golfers have no idea what the flex is in their driver shaft. Haven’t you heard – it’s the engine of the club.
  • Golfers equate cosmetic appeal with golf course quality. Give me a course with a great personality over a superficial supermodel any day.
  • More of us aren’t interested in golf course architecture.
  • Davis Love III, Jim Furyk, Fred Couples and Tom Lehman have won just a single major apiece.
  • Lee Westwood, Luke Donald, Steve Stricker and Colin Montgomerie haven’t won any.
  • You never see golf shoes with tassels anymore. Not that I’m complaining.
  • Some golfers – even avid ones — think greens are in bad shape when it’s obvious they’ve just been aerified and top-dressed. It’s a necessary evil and agronomy 101, folks.
  • The vast majority of us automatically grab a golf cart when the weather and course terrain are screaming, “You should walk today!”
  • Fewer golfers are walking, yet average round times continue creeping higher and higher.
  • The only time golf makes me unhappy is when I’m playing.
  • I take this %$*& game so %$!@ seriously.
  • I love this $%&@! game so !$#*& much.[/list]
golf's great mysteries


Daniel MitchellDaniel Mitchell is a golf writer and contributor who lives in Jupiter, Fla., a few miles from Tiger Woods as the crow flies but worlds away in every other respect. An avid golfer since age 12, Mitchell carries a (shaky) single-digit handicap, investing far more time in his dogs than his swing.

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